Losing A Teacher

[Miyagi stares wistfully at a picture of him and Daniel together]

 "Hope confusion end soon, Daniel-san. Miyagi heart empty without you."

-Mr. Miyagi

 

"Follow not in the footsteps of a master, but rather seek what they sought."

-Unknown

 

"Teacher opens the door, but you must step through."

-Chinese proverb

 

 

Along our path in the martial way, if we walk it long enough, we all encounter the teacher in our lives. Our own Mr. Miyagi you could say; one who not only guides and inspires us, but becomes in many ways pivotal in our development of martial artists.

They will remind us not to give up, on ourselves or what we do;

Perhaps they will be harsh, perhaps some are kind. They may not always say what we want to hear, but they will show us where to look. That is one of my favorite comments about true teachers.

Some may even find their own parents are such teachers. That too is so easy to forget.

 

I doubt any of us have quite those experiences above, but in our own way, we do experience with our guides such as those above, as we each subjectively can. And this only helps us become better than who we were. They remind us of who we are, and while the clips I show are largely symbolic and metaphorical of what I am writing about, I do know that I am not alone in my heart in remembering those certain moments that define the importance of such relationships have to each of us.

But at some point as we walk that path with them, following, alongside them eventually... we will lose them.

I have had two such teachers, and I am certain someday I will meet another if not more than. But in my two decades of sojourning, I have lost both. One to retirement, the other to death.

And the hole that leaves is one which does not fill- we simply have to carry the lessons they taught us forward.

And someday we may be that teacher to another.

It is hard to imagine how that feels to lose someone that important to you until you have. And of course, I do not wish that on anyone.

But it does mean that while we have teachers, when we do build a relationship such as I speak about, it is easy to forget that it is ultimately temporary. It could be a few months or years to decades of course, but no matter how long it exists we should take the time to honor it.

Appreciate your teacher- they won't always be there. And in many ways, that's ok.

The first teacher I could honestly say I loved decided to retire after more than twenty years of teaching, as his teacher did. Closing the doors to his academy, and setting us loose to find our way along that path. And he was such a good teacher that many, many of his students have continued along it.

In ancient Japan when a teacher died it was fairly common for a student to commit seppuku. But their loss does not have to mean the end of walk along the path.

I was fortunate to have those three years I did under Master Khan. And I am even more fortunate we have stayed in contact, and now and again he can offer a guiding hand in my development as a martial artist.

He taught me Chung Do Kwan, and how to be an actual martial artist in more than proper technique, but in development of my character. He is the teacher who gave me a priceless gift- that I could believe I was actually a black belt, and that to my core I deserved it. Doubt is so dangerous to those of us who strive, and he allowed me to be free of it. For that I am infinitely grateful.

I was also fortunate for the six months, spread out over two years of three months each to have met and been tutelage under Master Rhee. He taught me that one can practice other martial arts, and rather than have them conflict, they can augment each other. He taught me how to escape that narrow-mindedness that there is a single 'best' martial art. He taught me that ultimately whatever art we learn we will someday turn into our own. In a way putting our own brand on it. And if we can give back in some way to those who seek to also learn, we have realized what we have been taught at a level beyond utilizing the arts.

Such teachers often want the best for us; for us to become more than we were, and in many ways to surpass them. Otherwise, why would they teach?

And ultimately they are preparing you for the day you will walk alone. That is an inevitable part of life I have found. It doesn't have to be negative, but then again nor does it have to be positive. That is up to each of us to make the best or worst of those experiences.

We each have life-defining lessons we learn from such individuals. It is in our best interest to pay attention and not take them for granted.

And if you do not have such a relationship yet; be patient and keep walking. Sooner or later when the time is right as life decides it in its own casual way, they will meet you.

The biggest words you can say to them then are also the simplest; thank you.