The Wanderers

"Don't think about it (Traveling, the idea of traveling) too much. Don't make pro and con lists. Pro and con lists are nothing but trouble. If you think about it too much, you'll just end up staying home and then someday you'll be telling your grandchildren, "I always wanted to do that" instead of showing them photos of the trips you took and giving them advice on where to go. My family and friends often say to me, "I'm living vicariously through you." Don't ever live vicariously. This is YOUR life. Live."

-Lavinia Spalding.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I think of martial artists, I cannot help but remember the culture associated with them.

And one of my favorite aspects concerning martial artists is that of the ronin. Wandering warriors- those without teachers. No matter who or where you are in training, sooner or later you have to follow your path alone. Your teacher cannot always be there. Some of us will not know what that is like until we are old ourselves, some of us got to know the experience before we were even twenty. Sooner or later though, you will find yourself in that situation.

In this modern day and age the world is a pretty accessible place. As far as I can tell I have practiced martial arts in North America and Europe, and soon will be adding the Middle East to that list. I have no intention of stopping there, and Asia is my next stop, planned around the time I turn thirty.

Everywhere I go, I make sure to practice there. If I only do one form or even kick everywhere I go, I have in my heart completed that personal mission.

That's the thing so many overlook; many practice the martial arts, but forget that once you begin to do so, the martial arts slowly becomes a part of you. So everywhere you go is as a martial artist also.

Why forsake that?

Now I usually do far more than just a single kata or practice session. Often I devote many, many hours while there, especially in the mornings. Most of the videos I have made on youtube were made in Hungary, but a fair few were also here stateside.

Everyone travels, and it is unlikely where you are now is where you will always remain unless you choose to do so.

Since announcing my sojourn to Israel, a lot of people have commented that it must be nice to travel. That is a small statement of them saying passive aggressively they would like to.

That's the thing, nothing is stopping one from doing so. Especially if you speak one of the more populous languages in the world. If you speak any English at all, someone somewhere in the world is willing to pay to bring you there to do so. That seems to be what my future holds; traveling and teaching. So if I were to go elsewhere in my life, why would I stop developing myself? And by that I mean stop practicing the arts.

The journey begins with a single step. I challenge any who read this to go somewhere they had only wished and dreamed of going. It's more than possible.

"The fight is won or lost far away from witnesses - behind the lines, in the gym, and out there on the road, long before I dance under those lights."

-Muhammed Ali

Go With Life's Flow

"The only thing standing between you and your dream is the will to try, and the belief it is actually possible."

-Joel Brown

 

"You are never too old to set another goal, or dream another dream."

-C.S. Lewis

 

 

Destiny is one of those funny things where you both get to choose to make it, and also stumble into it.

I have been planning and working toward a long trip to Israel; one where I would teach English. My life has not always been the easiest thanks to my own usual creation of unfortunate events.

But for perhaps the first real time in a very long while I actually have a grip on my life; I'm sober, and found out yesterday at noon I have been accepted by MASA, an organization in Israel, to become a teacher of English for Ethiopian-Jews at an absorption center for refugees. These are a marginalized group of people who speak neither Hebrew nor English, and so this will be interesting. I do not speak a lick of their language. Despite that, I know I will get through it and have a very positive experience.

I intend to teach English alongside what I know of martial arts. This allows me to both continue practicing literally thousands of miles from where I call home, as well as make an actual difference. Despite being a sizable population this group of people, on the collegiate level, comprise less than 1% of those attending school, despite comprising more than 15% of the population in Israel.

Had you asked me a year ago where I would be, I would not have said Israel in two weeks from now. It wasn't even a passing thought.

That's how life goes though; how many parents expected to have a child a year before they did? Sometimes life launches tribulous surprises at us, and sometimes those experiences can become some of the greatest of our lives.

It is true it took a long time for this to come together. But sometimes building the most important moments of your life involve that.

And so often we are presented with opportunity we forsake. I am an adventurous person, and have visited many places already. Before I was four I had lived between Germany and Norway, France and the United States. I have been to Mexico, Canada, Austria, Hungary, Spain and England. And now I will soon be in Israel. I know my life is one that will ultimately involve traveling; that is just how it has been.

The difference is now that I know this as just a fact of who I am, what do I choose to do with it? Fight how things will be? Or roll with it. I choose to go with the latter.

And with me I know I will carry a number of things; my love for martial arts, and my love of writing. This is why I am starting a new blog to document my travels in Israel, which for a 'Merican will be very unique.

I have always wanted to perform aid work, and perhaps assist in conflict resolutions. I have always been sure someday I would visit Israel, but before I knew it, that someday is literally in the next two weeks.

This gives me hope; that those faraway places I only hoped I might be able to attend to someday are something I can very seriously not only pursue, but achieve.

Martial artists, as human beings, are dreamers. But while most people are happy to let dreams pass by, when one comes to us that is worth it, we pursue it. And this makes the difference; because without active involvement to make those dreams come true, it is so hard for them to without it.

So, if I can do it, make your faraway hopes become realized also.

All it takes is time and earnest effort.

Sometimes this picture is hilarious.

 

Other times, inspiring.

 

 

"The dream is to keep surprising yourself, nevermind the audience."

-Tom Hiddleston



(For my other blog, which focuses on my upcoming Journey to Israel, see: http://ajourneyinisrael.blogspot.com/2015/06/the-days-before.html)

Quitting Smoking As A Martial Artist

"You must throw away your bad habits to become good."

-Masaaki Hatsumi

 

"When teachers have bad habits, those bad habits can mean the difference between between life and death for their students."

-Masaaki Hatsumi

Well, the time has come for me to stop smoking.

The reason I am writing about this in a martial arts blog is because it has a lot to do with both self-control and perseverance.

I know quitting smoking isn't the most dramatic thing in the world; but it leads to more deaths than most other drugs put together. And terrifyingly, as a heroin addict once put it to me, "I was able to stop using heroine. But I cannot stop smoking."

That alone is enough to give me pause and contemplate the matter.

I'm doing this for a number of reasons; for one its a huge drain on money. Another is I have noticed issues with staying hydrated. But more importantly it seems the right thing to do for frankly moral reasons. That sense of intuition that tells us it is simply the right thing to do, though I cannot put finger on the exact reason it feels this way.

I have been smoking for only about six months, but in the last month or so the habit really went up a notch. I'm only at about a half pack a day, but that's about five times more than I was at three months ago, ten times the amount five months ago, and literally infinitely more than I was imbibing a year ago.

As a martial artist we have to learn how to control impulses and urges that can be self-destructive. If a moral martial artist seeks to not harm others or anything, that certainly includes themselves.

So how will I go about doing this?

Naturally I'll weather the cravings. Even as I write this I am experiencing one. Fortunately I am aware that cravings will pass. And if I do not give in to them, they will grow weaker with time.

I will focus on training. Perhaps every time I have a craving I will do push-ups. Perhaps every time I think of smoking and attempting to, I will do all the forms I know. I will distract myself with developing myself in other areas.

I will cultivate self-discipline.

In a way it is a test, or at least, I choose to see it as such. If I can conquer this, perhaps I can with a degree of certainty say to myself, as little as I may be able to control the world, at least I can control myself.

Is that not a truth martial artists would all like to honestly speak to themselves?

I can do it. It just won't be much fun. But I will still do it with a happiness that I know I can do anything I truly fix my mind to achieving.

 

"Thoughts lead on to purposes; purposes go forth in action; Actions lead to habits; Habits decide character; And character fixes our destiny."

-Tyrone Edwards

 

"The journey of a thousand miles, begins with the first step."

-Lao Tzu

Hone Your Reflexes

 

"You must learn many systems because every system has its specialty."

-Leung Kay-chi

"When you believe you can- you can!"

-Maxwell Maltz

 

Reflexes are perhaps one of the most integral elements in martial arts when it comes to conflict management.

A lot of people train to be fast, but do not train how to have fast reflexes.

One of the methods I use, because I work in retail and usually with food, is during the summer time to catch flies.

I've been doing that for a few years, and have gotten pretty good at it. I apologize for the quality of the video, but this is what I am talking about;

 

 

Catching a fly is interesting. They don't have very large brains of course, and are completely instinctual as animals. When something is coming towards them, such as a predator or say, my hand, their brains are wired to instantly calculate the exact angle or direction of flight they need to avoid or escape the encounter. Combined with eyes that allow them to see 360 degrees, this makes it very hard to nab them. The second your hand comes within proximity their brain has already redirected them in the exact path necessary to avoid you.

 

"Using high-resolution, high-speed digital imaging of fruit flies (Drosophila melanogaster) faced with a looming swatter, Dickinson and graduate student Gwyneth Card have determined the secret to a fly's evasive maneuvering. Long before the fly leaps, its tiny brain calculates the location of the impending threat, comes up with an escape plan, and places its legs in an optimal position to hop out of the way in the opposite direction. All of this action takes place within about 100 milliseconds after the fly first spots the swatter..."

 

-http://phys.org/news/2008-08-scientists-flies-hard-swat.html

 

 

 

That's where reflexes come in; you have to beat them at their own game. While the work is done subconsciously, you actively have to figure out where they are going and then grab them at that location at the exact time they will be there.

 

In a way its predicting. And perhaps it may also be luck. I have heard of some people without looking catching a fly.

 

Whether or not I believe they have does nothing to discount that their story may be true. It certainly doesn't seem impossible to me.

 

One must move faster than they can, and react faster than 1/1,000th of a second. I assure you this is possible.

 

"However, the MIT team found that although overall performance declined, subjects continued to perform better than chance as the researchers dropped the image exposure time from 80 milliseconds to 53 milliseconds, then 40 milliseconds, then 27, and finally 13 — the fastest possible rate with the computer monitor being used."

 

-http://newsoffice.mit.edu/2014/in-the-blink-of-an-eye-0116

 

 

 

When you can catch flies with ease, I have a harder task I challenge others to try; it takes speed to catch a fly. But it takes skill to catch a fly without hurting it.

 

The usefulness of being able to do this is in direct relation to being able to quickly perceive oncoming threats. It's not necessarily the person who is faster that will land the strike the first, but really the one who quickly analyzes the situation and reacts accordingly. They could have all the speed in the world, but if you see it coming, and your strike is already where they are going they will in the end be the one struck instead of you.

 

This is where the argument of evading vs. dodging comes into play, but that is for another article.

 

Now to get some chopsticks and do it with those. Never tried, but that's what we do in martial arts; we clear one level and move on to a deeper one.

 

 

 

 

 

"Man who can catch fly with chopsticks can accomplish anything."

-Mr. Miyagi (Pat Morita)

Finding Your Trigger

"There is nothing outside of yourself that can ever enable you to get better, stronger, richer, quicker or smarter. Everything is within. Everything exists. Seek nothing outside yourself."

-Miyamoto Musashi.

 

 

This is an article which will explore a number of different experiences I have had while practicing.

When I normally strike I move at a rate of about five moves per second, usually with handwork. Here is a demonstration of that;

I can actually go faster. But to do that I have to concentrate very hard, and in a way, it takes a kind of concentration that I just can't normally do. I have to think in a certain way, and when I do this it is akin to 'unlocking' something. If we normally think of each strike as a count of 1 then 2 then 3 then 4, the process works to shorten how one thinks- effectively changing it. The 1 then 2 becomes just a count of one representing both strikes, and 3 and 4 become just 2. So the count while engaging goes from 1-4 to just 1-2, even though I am still doing just two strikes.

Our speed is limited foremost not by our body- but rather by our minds. When I strike faster than six in a second, if I do it for say ten seconds, my arms especially become inflamed and red. To put it plainly- one moves to fast that the muscles tear in the arm.

But that doesn't mean it is impossible to move that fast. Like I said, our thinking is what truly limits us, so if you collapse how you think, making your thought process faster, your ability for your body to follow what your mind instructs it to do also becomes faster. All too often martial artists believe it is their bodies inhibiting their ability, when it is really their mind doing so.

Likewise in a similar vein, the difference between a black belt and somebody who isn't is also mental. You can have all the techniques, even be able to do them perfectly, but that does not make a blackbelt. It is a state of mind, and it requires molding. I have only ever seen it achieved through tribulation. I received my 3rd dan around when I was 13 in WTF (Moo Duk Kwan) Tae Kwon Do. I had been practicing nearly ten years. I switched schools around then and it was only there I actually became a black belt. The first time I did a black belt test was to do all the forms, combinations and self-defense. That was enough to qualify me.

To become a black belt in Chung Do Kwan I had to do all that and more; I had to fight 1 on 1 for a minute, then 2 on 1, then 3 on 1, and then 4 on 1.

Actually here is the belt test from when I was fifteen. I know, I know I've posted it before, but it's the example I have of what I am talking about, and some people haven't seen the video;

This process of testing teaches something important; it instills an instinctive drive to endure and survive. In a way it kind of unlocks the animal within a person. You never win such an encounter; that's not the point of it. The point is partly to break your spirit and have you fight through that experience and become a stronger person as a martial artist. A side effect is it makes you stronger as a person overall. It instills confidence and a strong sense of how to persevere.

It reminds me of how someone creates a statue from stone; we do not necessarily build the statue- we break pieces off the crude rock until something considered art is created. Becoming a black belt is a similar process. You have to be broken to become something great.

And I see a vein of commonality between what I have to do to move at a certain heightened speed, and what I have to do to practice as a black belt. When I practice with someone who is an underbelt, I do not treat them as I would another black belt, or how I would expect another black belt to treat me. I have to actively switch my mode of thinking, and even though that is mostly a subconscious process now, it is still there and I recognize it.

That's something that I haven't seen many people address when teaching; to pay attention to how we think when we practice, given to each particular situation.

After all, you would not fight a white belt like you would a black belt. So what is it that makes the difference?

That frankly is for you to decide for yourself, be it stemming from a sense of understanding, pity or honor.

The only thing that is important is to understand what qualifies you to trigger how you approach a situation, so we can become better given each set of circumstances. What is it you as a martial artist do to unlock becoming better?

I'm not really looking for a response; I just think this is something all martial artists need to figure out for themselves.

Otherwise if this never happens you might wear a black belt, but by no means does that mean you actually are a black belt.

And all true black belts to me are warriors. Idealistic, sure, but it's just a fact as I know it.

"A black belt is nothing more than a belt that goes around your waste. Being a black belt is a state of mind and attitude."

-Rick English

A Vertical Kick

 

"If size mattered, the elephant would be the king of the jungle."

-Anderson Silva

 

 

 

 

This photo was taken about a week ago.

I am writing about it for a couple of reasons. The first is I really like this photo; one of my step-mothers took this photo. She is amazing at photography.

The second is I really enjoy this kick. I am fairly flexible, but am still working toward a full split. So the fact I can kick above my heard with kicks angled forward is something I take pride in.

But the most important reason I am writing about this is that no matter how well you do a kick, or how cool it looks, there is always room for improvement.

In the above photo you can see that my grounded leg has the heel lifted. This is incorrect. The heel should be planted, obviously I have more stretching. Additionally, though it is minor my head is dropped slightly. I cannot recall if I did that deliberately, such as to look at the camera better, or if it is honestly a bad habit. I say that because in the other photos we took I am not doing that;

 

 

 

So that point is debatable. I am happy to say that I have eliminated a bad habit; dropping my arms when I kick. The first photo I am attempting to do a vertical punch while kicking, but unfortunately did not completely pull it off.

 

But what I believe drives this home for me is that ten years ago I could not do this kick. I was fortunate if I got the foot up to head level.

 

We age, and it is a concern of mine that even with diligence practice abilities will get lost. I am happy to admit this has not been the case whatsoever. The more I push myself the more I find myself to become more capable.

 

 

This was me last year;

 

 

This is what I can do now;

 

 

 

 

And that is how martial arts works; kind of like if early you're on time, if on time you're late, and if late you're forgotten. If you push yourself you will improve. If you stay still your ability will degrade over time, and if you stop you will lose your ability completely.

 

 

 

"Rough diamonds may sometimes be mistaken for worthless pebbles."

-Thomas Browne

Amending Forward

 

 

"A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life doing nothing."

-George Bernard Shaw

 

"Mistakes are always forgivable if one has the courage to admit them."

-Bruce Lee

 

 

 

 

That moment when you do something wrong in the practice hall, and pissed off your teacher.

 

 

That's what I'd like to look at today- those times when we make mistakes. Sometimes they are quite funny when looking back, but when we experience them it never seems that way.

 

Perhaps the most entertaining instance of what I am talking about that occurred to me was when I accidentally washed my white uniform with a red shirt, and it came out pink, and was the only heavy-weight uniform I owned, which was the attire at that school.

 

 

 

WUCHAAAA!!1!ONE!!

 

 

I am sure you have your own similar experiences.

 

One of the worst I did in the training hall was when preparing for my 1st Dan exam. I had already become a 3rd dan at another school two years before, and was still quite young. Mature as I was considered then, I was still fifteen, and had a lot to learn.

 

I was sparring against two people, and at one point one of the people, who I actually respect a lot, dropped her hands and I landed a blow to her face. We don't pull punches, and men and women, children and adults receive the same treatment.

 

Anyway we exited the studio and she made a comment about the strike, and I was so tired I didn't think about how I responded, which was a snotty, "You shouldn't have dropped your hands."

 

I came in the next day, and was screamed at for a good while by my master. It was the only time my teacher had to. I had given her two black eyes, and I frankly deserved the scolding. But truth be told, I am as ashamed at having hurt her in practice, as having disappointed my favorite teacher.

 

And of course I apologized, then did my push-ups, went to sparring class, and got a fair beating.

 

I am also sure that many of you who read this have also experienced something similar in your own particular way.

 

Having said that, once you get up, all you can do is not make the same mistake.

 

I've never had my belt pulled. I've been expelled from public school though. I've drank and done stupid things, and I've gotten into fights I honestly didn't need to.

 

As difficult as it is to let yourself down, when you let down those you love and who care about you for the simple fact that you are you, it is a hell deserving its own circle.

 

But, all mistakes carry a silver lining- they never have to happen again. And while inevitable that things do occur, how we handle those events are drawn from not only the mistakes of our past, but our successes.

 

And its something we so often forget, that when misfortune occurs, whether by our hand or life, that it will end someday. But so often many will then forget, once the problem is over, that it ever really happened. They may recall they went through something, but it is a rare thing for a person to carry the feeling of that experience forever.

 

This to me is in part what fuels addiction. The heroine addict may overdose and die, and have their life saved by one mean or another. But then just a few weeks later the immediacy of the experience has dimmed and faded, and so they use again, come back again only to repeat the cycle.

 

Don't be like that, everything turns in circles, and cycles are a locked behavior. Never keep detrimental cycles.

That's what a martial artist is, someone who practices becoming a better human being. And that is what martial artists do; hone our skills in every area we can. Because of that mistakes and downfalls will happen.

 

All one can do when such perchance occur is to be completely honest with whomever you hurt, even if that is just yourself, and express the desire to make an amend.

 

 

 

"It is not our mistakes who we are, it is how we recover from those mistakes."

-Bo Bennett

When Others Doubt You

"Those who are skilled in combat do not become angered, those who are skilled at winning do not become afraid. Thus the wise win before the fight, while the ignorant fight to win."

-O sensei Ueshiba

 

"Nothing gives a person so much advantage over another to remain cool and unruffled under all circumstances."

-Thomas Jefferson

 

 

 

I have noticed an interesting phenomenon. The one where people believe because you are a martial artist you can be tangled with.

The other day I had just such an experience where somebody who confronted me and wanted to step outside to fight. Literally their words. I apologized for waking them up, and they responded, 'Want to step outside, son?'

Now, I agree wholeheartedly with the idea that if you have to raise your fist you are a person whom has run out of rational ideas. When somebody in the background spoke up and told him not to mess with me because I practice, boy did that make him want to go even more. Hence why I hate whenever somebody brings 'So-and so is a martial artist' to the table. It doesn't help, and if anything makes the situation worse. Because it carries a kind of implied threat, especially at a time when one person is essentially trying to escalate it from a dick measuring contest, to a fight over the dick measuring contest.

And I can attest in the past that others when told this wanted to fight even more.

Let me be honest- as much as I love fighting in the dojo or ring, I equally hate fighting outside of it. Mostly because that isn't art- it's either a brawl or something as feral as it, or its for survival. And I have yet to meet somebody who has ever enjoyed a fight for their own survival.

But let's be honest, how many people have each of us met who say they practice martial arts and really still do? Someone who practiced the art a decade or while ago, generally does not have the same levity as someone who has entered and exited their dojo, or practiced that week. And god forbid someone who practices an art that has been grossly watered down into a sport. Hence why we often dichotomize science and art above sports- there's a degree of skill present in the former that is lacking in the latter.

And because of that and so many people who fall into that category of claiming 'being a weapon' because of a Mcdojo this or Mcstyle that, long since having trained, compared to those who actually should be given a birth of room are then underestimated. A person who has spent two decades training crap rarely compares to one month of training in a real martial art.

And don't get me wrong, I am not claiming to be some kind of human weapon just because I practice martial arts. In fact, I've been called that under a lot of different names just because I have been practicing for two decades, and I hate-hate-hate that. A lot of my training did originate from McDojos, but even more of my training was by very skilled practitioners, alongside even more abled martial artists. I am extremely small for an adult male, and thus many people do feel comfortable attempting to intimidate me. But being a martial artist does not mean I do not deserve or cannot feel intimidation- it merely means I respond to it steadfastly. And I no more deserve to be intimidated than I deserve respect because I practice. In fact, practicing should afford me do different level of treatment as an individual. But my ego, and sometimes others prevents that pragmatically.

But that's usually the extent. A humorous nickname such as killer or karate kid, or even to get an angry rise out of me. Because push as others may and I might allow, I do not allow it to escalate when it can be helped.

I can recall one experience where my sister had a number of friends visit who called me killer, or assassin and the like, and I felt embarrassed. I can also remember a few times some people attempted conflict simply because of a presumed reputation that followed practicing martial arts. I dislike that equally so.

An actual martial artist won't blink when someone pulls a gun, and wont worry when a number attacks them. I would know, I've been in both situations and can attest to what it feels like. It's very personal, and one deals with it as best they can, and if feel like it, bitch afterwards. Usually from jail or over a drink, which is where most bitching will originate from in my experience. And I'm not talking about tea.

Those who feel comfortable attempting to intimidate those who do practice are those who play with fire. The individual who wanted to step outside with me pulled the same stunt on somebody else we are living with. He is someone who doesn't just play with fire, but lights his sleeve on fire, laughs, and then extinguishes the flame before he gets hurt. This is something one can only do so long and so often before they do eventually get burned. And chances are someday he will do this to someone who wont hesitate to pull a weapon and use it. But it will not be me, and I can take some degree of self-respect away from that. A real martial artist, and thus real human being, will rise above stupidity when able. Now that is something to take some amount of pride in oneself from; when another acts stupidly, you stand your own level-headed, and don't stoop to their demeanor.

That's why even champion fighters and trained warriors realize that if robbed it is easier and safer generally to hand over the wallet or money than risk their own person. Fighting over a few twenties or even Benjamins is akin to stating one's life is only worth that much. Not that the able martial artist won't raise their hand to protect themselves or those around them, but they will only do so when its the last recourse. For me, I can imagine that would be handing over the money and then the person attempts to take my life. That's when you let the inner demon out.

Hence why I have a huge amount of respect for people like this;
http://www.npr.org/2008/03/28/89164759/a-victim-treats-his-mugger-right

It's why the most sagacious thing to do in an encounter is to run when violence looms and is nearly unavoidable. You are equally courageous to me whether you choose flight and survive, and fight and survive. Flight has just one extra letter more than fight, and that L stands for so much. To live. Survival is all that matters in all we do concerning what we train for. But when running, and are cornered, and then fight, that is something different entirely. One has made a choice and it was exhausted, so there was no recourse other than the choice left to preserve oneself. That to me is the only appropriate time to respond and fight; when you literally have only that choice left. When you made the right choice to avoid violence, and it proved impossible to do. And then fought.

A martial artist shouldn't seek conflict, and lord knows I have met quite a few far too little experience (there is never one who is experienced, or able, or powerful enough to justify) who will thump their chests. An experienced or at least knowledgeable martial artist understands that no matter how strong or fast or good, there is always someone better, somewhere. And if you pick enough fights, sooner or later you will run into that kind of person.

A martial artist should always present themselves to be underestimated- sometimes this bites me in the ass, but the element of surprise is one others should take to heart. When you have more bravado than necessary, even if you can back it up, you will find yourself more generally than not walking into more confrontation than you otherwise would have. When you appear small and weak, that is also no good. Others will also try to take advantage of that, but when underestimated and are willing to still stand up- it is that fine balance which can make all the difference.

I think of a story one teacher once told, when in college where while riding in the car somebody disparaged his family, and he struck them because of the belittling. When the man emerged from the car, he was dazed both from the pummeling he received, but then fatefully said, "I didn't know you had that in you," to which my teacher struck him again. Not that I condone violence or am encouraging it- I am just making the point that surprising others with an unrecognized tenacity can daze a person as much as hitting them. It will leave the other standing there like a cow chewing cud as the predator charges in on them.

So while the person may spit and holler at me, telling me to step outside, it is stupidity to listen and do so. It is not cowardice to not take the invitation, but still stand up to that person. Eventually the encounter will fizzle out. I have yet to see it not. Because when they are telling you to step outside, they are just trying to intimidate you. There's a reason they haven't already swung and initiated. Because they are surprised by you standing up and not backing down, and secondly because they are cowards. The invitation for you to step outside is a double edged blade- and when they extend the hilt for you to take, they are equally extending it to themselves while still grasping the blade. The difference is this; fear is what keeps them from actually going outside when they make that proclamation, whereas confidence and a willingness to rise above their pettiness is what will keep you rooted and overcome the situation. Because you are meeting their challenge you are essentially stating, 'here I stand, and here I remain. What will you do about it?'

To which their responses are limited; to either keep bleating like a ram, or to move on like the sheep they really are in character.

Never once in my life, in all the scraps I have been in, even when a gun was pulled on me, did it result in actual harm. Because usually when you meet them thusly, one way or another they back down. There is a difference between someone pulling a weapon on you or cocking a fist to them actually pulling the trigger or throwing the punch.

They are waiting for an invitation that they already extended. But that's the funny thing about those kind of party's, you never have to actually attend, and you never have to play by the rules they are trying to set.

Don't get me wrong, if someone pulls a weapon there is an inherit danger to being in its presence. For me I found that standing my ground was enough. To charge was to potentially get shot, and to retreat was to potentially shot at. Yet when I stood my ground, and did not take my gaze off them, that was enough to diffuse the situation.

Certainly I was lucky, but when the situation is untenable whether you retreat or advance, sometimes the most tactile response is to do nothing, and wait for the situation to change.

In chess this is called this is called zugzwang. And it is a shame chess does not allow you to skip your move, because its a real situation that occurs in life.

Avoid zugzwang, but more importantly, learn how to recognize when it appears. And then do what you can about the situation. Sometimes the most practical thing to do is to give ground. In my situation this last week there was nothing really to do but continue to repeat, I apologize, but stop threatening. And the situation fizzled.

http://www.mmamania.com/2011/1/5/1904645/intimidation-the-non-phsyical-aspects-of-mma

http://www.martialartsplanet.com/forums/showthread.php?t=109649

http://forums.sherdog.com/forums/f53/lesson-intimidation-mike-tyson-1220291/

 

"When your temper rises, lower your fists. When your fists rise, lower your temper."

-Tony Jaa

"Fear does not crown champions."
-Michelle Waterson